Vanya’s 2020

Just another Tuesday night, taking it one day at a time, I get a text from my dearest mate from college. A question, he asked, in fact i’ll take the liberty to change that up, THE question. “How was 2020 for you?” No athlete but my brain has run from this reflection as fast as the blood in my veins every single morning and it’s no different in this moment. 

I solemnly wish I started this off with blooms of positivity, praising my inner spirit for seeing the best in this year. I wish I had an assorted palate of realizations to share with you that 2020 bought for me. I wish I had memories of how I relived my childhood by staying at home for an unexpectedly long time to be nostalgic about. However, it’s absolutely nothing that comes to my mind, a mind that’s otherwise known for its frantic rush of thoughts, opinions and views, stays shut at the subject of drawing reflection from the monumental of 2020 as a whole. For perhaps, this year changed so much with its unexpectedness, that thinking about the past or the future seem as unnecessary subjects, for this year taught us, that all that we have is now. 

Or rather, this year is like a long night that’s now transitioning into dawn. A night where a lot happened, but your aim at the first sighting of sunshine is to just get home. Recollection of memories and understanding the meaning behind the events that occurred, is something that will follow its own due course but will catch up with you one day. 

I believe every year leaves an uncanny impact on every person, every year includes instances of highs and downs in everyone’s life. However this year, we all stayed afloat in the same boat, unified yet distanced of course. Together, but not, this unforeseen separation from people that played the most important part in my life, everyday taught the impact human energy has. Freedom to see faces that made everyday an event to look forward to, the liberty that never felt so glorious before, all together fainted the remaining tint on my rose glasses as time preceded, in the speed of the sloth.  This year almost everyday made me question, “What really matters?” an answer I’m yet to find. 

For someone who loves to admire the beauty of all that surrounds, 2020 just happened to suck that positivity of finding beauty in everyday’s mundane. It threw you back down in the shackles of your mind, time in and again. Made sure your surroundings stayed confined to the vicinity of your walls, whilst the world around you changed in the most obscure manners. Altered all that you ever knew of the worldly systems we’ve all taken pride in as a race. Yet what it couldn’t destroy, was our hope. Hope for a better tomorrow, a brighter year to follow, a stronger self. Together as a race, our resilience grew stronger, For some hoped to see a better next day, a better someone else, a better version of themselves- its the optimistic nature of our being that kept us going. Maybe some years down the line, if you get an opportunity and find me at a bar, ask about 2020 and I just may call it the most enlightening year of life. However right now, in this moment, I’m just trying to swing past it curled on my dainty thread of hope, wishing it doesn’t break before the midnight bell strikes on 31st. 

Writer’s note: It’s been a matter of absolute honour to be part of Loopy this year, for it’s something that’s put together with thought, effort and love by a friend who I always look out for and upto in all times, good and bad. To Meet, his resilience and all the readers, I wish you a lovely 2021. 

Vanya Gangwar

If you like personality, I have multiple.